Kids Are Reinforcing For Parents

Hi, this is Ben. How's it going? So I have this social psychology class that is pretty interesting, I suppose. There are about 8 people in the class, and 4 of us are of your classic Utah demographic--white, male, returned missionary, fathers of one, two, or three in mid- to late-twenties.

So somehow, we got on the topic of what it's like to have kids. So the half of us with kids began talking about how life-changing it is, and how difficult it can be. The other students kind of laughed and said, "Yeah, we always get the response, but it is followed by the obligatory 'But there's nothing better!'" So they started prying a little deeper. One friend of mine in there asked if we would have waited a few more years to have kids, knowing what we know now. I said that I wouldn't have, but I did say that I would like to go back to the time of not having kids knowing what I know now about how life would after kids. I would appreciate little things like sleeping in and not always having to have one person home at night while the kids sleep. What the other students must have heard was, "I hate my kids," so they let me have it. I said, "Wait. I'll put it like this..." I went on to say that it's very hard, but there truly is nothing better. I got a little emotional explaining what a great feeling it is to come home from school or work and have my little kids run out on the doorstep yelling to me to hurry up. And it is a great feeling.

So the guy next to me spoke next. He's a friend of mine in my cohort with a daughter about 18 months old. He put it very well, I think. He said, "I'm a behaviorist, so I look at it solely on the level of behavior. Having kids is reinforcing. When my daughter gets hurt, she comes running to me yelling 'Daddy! Daddy!' It makes me feel important and needed." He cited a few other examples and closed just by saying something like, "Maybe I'm selfish, but I love having a child because she is so reinforcing to me." Everyone laughed, and I really thought it was funny--with a little underlying truth to it.

I didn't give his "reinforcing" comment much thought after class ended until I sat down with my kids for dinner the next night. They were in really goofy moods, I guess, because they were just cracking up at everything I said. I started to think, "Yeah, this whole parent thing is a little reinforcing." So Jamie got some video and I've got a little clip below. We got on the subject of "Little Einsteins" and somehow started making up nonsense words to go after "Little". Really thinking about it, I must say that it is probably in the bottom 5 percent of funniest things I've ever done. As far as unfunny goes, this was right down there with Cuba Gooding Jr.'s last Disney effort "Snow Dogs". Pretty unfunny. But to a 4- and 2-year-old, you'd think they just got a personal stand-up show from Jerry Seinfeld himself. So now, I must agree that kids are very reinforcing. At least someone thinks I'm funny.