Earth Glue: Lawn mowing albums and songs that speak to your soul

A little more autobiography. Forgive me.

Part One:

When I was a young lad, it was my responsibility to mow our immense lawn in Montpelier, Idaho. When I tell you that it was an entire acre, I am not kidding. It took hours. Well, as a 15-year-old, I got a Discman for Christmas. You remember Discmans? They were awesome. Mine took 8 AA batteries, and they lasted about 6 hours. Anyway, I was very excited about this Discman. The first idea that came to mind on how I would use it was for mowing the lawn. However, it was too large to carry with me while I mowed, so I spent the rest of the winter coming up with a plan on how to use it while mowing the lawn. I've never claimed to have any ingenuity, and consequently, when the summer arrived, the only idea I had come up with was to duct tape the cd player around my chest under my shirt. If it were over my shirt it would have skipped too much. It needed to be as secure as possible. My next task was finding an album that was so good that I would not have to skip any songs...a lawn mowing album. Tom Petty Greatest Hits was the closest I could find at the time, but "Don't Come Around Here No More" messed it up. At that particular time in my life, I was unaware of the amazing music that came out in the early nineties, available at my fingertips, so finding a 'lawn-mowing' album was difficult.

Part Two:

I will be forever indebted to Jordan Pope. He was a great friend, and I have unfortunately fallen out of touch with him, though we both live in the SLC area. When I was 15, I went on a school trip with Jordan and some other friends to London. After listening to Green Day Dookie seven times in a row on the airplane, I was tired of it (and have been ever since, to be honest). Jordan handed me an album from a music group of whom I not heard as we landed. "Try this cd," he said, "I think you'll like it." I grabbed it, thanked him, and put it in my Discman. I did not have time to listen to it as I got my luggage at the airport, but as soon as we got on the bus from the airport, I played it. The first song, I thought was a little weird, so I skipped to the second. What transpired at that moment was a life-changing experience. This song spoke to my soul. I know that sounds dramatic...it is. But it is the only way I can describe it. A friend of mine comes the closest to matching the description by saying "mind-blowing (Springer, 2006)".

I sat back in my seat on the bus and listened as this song from Jordan Pope spoke to my soul while we made our way into London. I remember everything like it was yesterday...the weather, the sites, but mostly the sensation deep inside of me that overwhelmed me as this song spoke to my soul. I remember hoping the song would never end. And when it did, I closed my eyes, took a few deep breaths, and continued on with the rest of the "mind-blowing (Springer, 2006)" album.

That album was the first true lawn-mowing album I experienced, and that song was the first song that ever truly spoke to my soul. So without further adieu, I offer you the title track off of Radiohead's second album, The Bends. Thank you, Jordan Pope.

May this song speak to your soul as it did mine, and may you find this album and duct tape it to your chest in a Discman. You will be happy for the 6 hours your batteries will last you, but miserable for the 2+ hours it will take you to get the duct tape off.





Reference:

Springer, B.J. (2006). What makes a song "mind-blowing". Discussions en route to Daybreak Elementary, (2)1.

Can parallel parking skills attract women?

A good question. I have been married for five years now and am quite "out of the game", as they call it. Of course by saying I am only "out of the game", I am implying that there was a time in my life when was in said "game." That is somewhat misleading. As can be clearly seen above (a picture taken at my job about 20 seconds ago), I am not a "lady killa," "playa," "balla," nor any other noun with a single 'a' in place of the 'er'.

However, there is one thing going for me in the positive direction. What I lack in good looks and impressive physique, I make up in parallel parking skills. It drives Jamie, my dear wife, crazy that I always brag about it. In fact, she hopes and prays that there are no parallel spots available when we are looking for a spot because she has to listen to me brag about it. Well, there's one thing she doesn't have to do when we find a spot...that is wait for me to take several stabs at parking then give up. If the spot can possibly fit my car with 6 inches on either side, you'll be walking to your final destination within seconds. Well the other day I was at the Gateway in Salt Lake City (I thought I'd specify for all you out-of-state readers I have out there...I sometimes read this blog when I'm outside of the beehive state.). Anyway, the Gateway was quite crowded so I had to resort to the parallel spots on the street to the west of the mall (500 W.). I found a tight spot and was parked within seconds, naturally, but on my way to the mall, something caught my eye. A person in a gray sedan was struggling mightily trying to squeeze into a spot. I slowed down and watched traffic build behind the driver, but the driver was persistent on getting in. So I thought I would do society a favor.

I walked over to the car and tapped on the window. The window rolled down to reveal a young lady probably in her early twenties. She looked a little weirded out (see picture above), but before she could get too nervous, I said, "Can I help you park your car?" Turns out, she got a little more nervous...understandably. I said, "Really, I'm an excellent parallel parker." She turned to her friend, another young lady in her early twenties, gave her a shrug, looked at the line up of cars behind her, and said, "Sure." She and her friend got out of the car, and I worked my magic. Though it was a clutch I wasn't used to, I was able to get into the space in one try, obviously, and shut the car off, got out, and gave her the keys. She said, "Thanks a lot," to which I replied, "no problem."

I walked off and got about ten feet away when I heard the driver over my shoulder, "So I guess you want my number, right?" I turned around and casually replied, "No thanks, I'm married. Just wanted to use what skills I have to make the world a better place. Take care." And I was off like a phantom in the night.

So the moral of the story is, if a guy like me, who has been so out of touch for so long and was never really in touch in the first place, can get someone to offer their number for successfully parallel parking their car, there is hope for all of you who want an easy way to get digits. By the way, do they still call them "digits"? Better question: did they ever call them "digits"? Good luck out there, fellas. There are many fine-lookin' ladies just waiting to have their cars parallel parked.

Earth Glue: Intro (12/24/07)

Well, this is some pressure. My first Earth Glue installment. I've had a lot of different thoughts on what I should feature here. So, I didn't want to give the two readers out there (hi mom, hi dad) the impression that whatever song I feature first is my favorite song, but that will come later. But before that...


I will give you a very brief music autobiography of Ben Belnap. I have been a music lover from a very young age. There is home video of me as about a 3-year-old dancing to "The Sounds of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel. I was brought up in a healthy music environment. Some of my oldest memories involve driving with my dad in his '76 Chevy pick-up truck singing along with Bob Dylan. I remember distinctly asking my dad at about age 5 why he liked Bob Dylan so much "because he's got such a funny voice." My dad, a Dylan-fearing man, rarely passed up the opportunity to give a music appreciation lesson. Upon hearing my question, he calmly pulled the truck over to the side of the road and said, "Yes, Ben, Bob Dylan does kind of have a 'funny voice', but Bob Dylan had a pen. And Bob Dylan did a lot more for music and society with his pen than anyone who has ever been known for having a nice voice. Don't ever forget that music is much more than listening to a nice voice." Thanks, Dad.

I will leave that as the first installment of my music autobiography for all of your sakes. Of course, my nostalgia about Dylan would provide an excellent transition into introducing a Bob Dylan song as my first Earth Glue installment. However, the Bob Dylan feature will come at a later date.

I have chosen my song for today's post on three criteria: 1) it is consistent with the season, 2) it is light-hearted...an appropriate beginning since much of my music is not, and 3) it is performed by one of my top fives...Jack Johnson. This song is a classic Christmas song, but Jack added his own flare, as only he can do, by using catchy acoustic guitar along with an additional verse.

I'm confident you will enjoy. Merry Christmas from the folks at Earth Glue.

Random Thoughts of an Irrelevant Fellow: Intro

Ben here...
Here I am posting blogs about my rather uneventful life. I recognize that no one will really care too much about what I have to say. But typing my thoughts and opinions and stories will at least make me feel important to myself. So I will write my thoughts as I think someone is actually reading them to make myself feel important. Do I have good grammar? Not really. Do I have a large vocabulary for making eloquent posts? Not particularly. Will I continue to pose questions and then answer them myself? Hopefully for you, the reader, no...but I probably will.

I will primarily post stories of things that happened to me, again, pretending that people care. I will also have a music part called "Earth Glue" wherein I will post some music. Sometimes there will be a theme, and sometimes I'll just post a good song. Be prepared to have your mind blown. Unfortunately there is no sarcasm key on the keyboard, so when I say something like, "prepare to have your mind blown," it kind of makes me look like a pretentious joker. Maybe I am. Anyway, I look forward to our cyber relationship. This could be the beginning of something very special.